Hope is a fragile thing.
I was asked by my counselor (who specializes in disruptive questions): “Do you have hope?” My knee jerk response was, “I don’t want to jinx it.” I regretted that response. She pursued my heart in kind and bold ways, and I left that fall Phoenix day feeling small and very stirred.
At every turn that week the word jumped out at me, inviting me farther in. Ericka shared at Neighborhood that week from this passage about the longings of immigrants: for something better, for a home, for a place to belong.
Each one of these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that—heaven country. You can see why God is so proud of them, and has a City waiting for them. (Hebrews 11:13-16)
Other translations say that God was not ashamed to be called their God. The alien, the stranger in the land. The ones who never got what they hoped for. Not ashamed.
One of those crazy passages on suffering that got a bit warped in my growing up years says something similar:
because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5).
Hope. It doesn’t put me to shame. Shame I understand, the Journey Mate of a wounded child. Ca-Ching. God is not ashamed.
I got it.
Hope has nothing to do with getting what I hope for. That’s a terrifying relief. Over and over as I wrestle I see two resting places.
God is present. God is good.
And these I know. I have walked the inky blackness of suffering. I have plumbed the depths of these words.
Today we lit the light of the prophets, the candle of hope.
So yes, to answer the question,
I have hope.