Birth and grief

Birth is a joyful experience! How many times have you heard those words? And yet, sometimes it is not.

I am gifted with the privilege of listening to birth stories. I read them, I hear them, I love them, I breathe them.  

And in a culture where one in three women experience a surgical Birth, and Birth violence is more often the norm in the other two thirds, birth stories can be painful.
 And so, I listen. Multitudes of words have been silenced with the phrase “at least you have a healthy baby”.  Are we willing to dare to hear the but/and. It takes two hands held open to hold the paradox.

It matters how we are born. 

It matters for the baby, and it matters for the mother. Healing is possible, no matter the road. I have the privilege to hold space for birth in new ways. Or perhaps, The ways are very old. Have we forgotten the sacredness of birth?

We must dare to hold space for Story. We must listen without words. We must not filter or shut down grief. It is only in daring to feel the grief that we can truly feel the joy.

And in that way, we can reclaim birth. May it be.

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